De bizarste verhalen van gevangenismedewerkers

Het lijkt ons wel duidelijk dat een leven in de gevangenis geen pretje is. Het is niet chill om te beseffen dat je ineens tussen moordenaars en verkrachters leeft, maar vaak wel je eigen schuld. Dat het voor de gevangenismedewerkers net zo zwaar of misschien wel zwaarder is vergeten we soms. Zij zijn verantwoordelijk voor de veiligheid van de gedetineerden en zien ook alle narigheid.

Op de vraag wat het meest verontrustende was dat (oud-)gevangenisbewaarders ooit hebben meegemaakt, gaven ze op Reddit antwoord. Je maag draait om van de zieke shit die deze mensen hebben meegemaakt in de lik. Crazy shit.

Een pen is ook een wapen
“From when my dad was a guard: Two prisoners trying to kill a third prisoner. The shank broke, so the put a pen in his ear and stomped on it. It came out his mouth and he lived.”

Territorium afbakenen

“I work closely with all the prisons in the state. There’s one notorious inmate who likes to jerk off and throw his semen in everyone’s face…fellow inmates, guards, it doesn’t matter. He’s not strict to semen, sometimes piss and shit, just whatever he can get his hands on.”

Waslijst aan idiote gebeurtenissen

“Oh boy here we go

– My first fight I responded to was a stabbing. Trying to contain that situation with nothing more than OC spray and Gloves was a pretty grim welcoming to corrections.

– I try not to look at their charges because I find it hard to treat them the same after I find out that they are a violent sex offender. Almost every time an inmate is polite and seems like a decent enough person I end up hearing their case in the news and it is 9/10 sex charges.

– I saw a guy who slipped in the bathroom have his hip come completely out of his socket and his leg came out at a ridiculous angle.

– Trying to have a conversation with someone and deescalate them when you can hardly see them because so much feces has been spread over the window.

– During a strip search an inmate used his hands to make his butt cheeks say “excuse me sir, but do you have a breath mint?”

– But by far the most disturbing thing is the complete lack of accountability. 90% of these guys have convinced themselves that they are the victims and have done no wrong. Never accountable for anything and have a sense of entitlement that is more frustrating than anything to deal with than any other aspect of my job.”

– Becoming accustomed to being threatened is a pretty strange phenomenon. I didn’t realize I had become desensitized to it until I was threatened by an inmate telling me “I am going to murder you and rape your wife.” I told my family that it happened a few weeks later just as a “oh by the way” sort of thing and they were mortified. Where as I had almost forgotten it happened.

– An inmate who was infamous for packing drugs in his rectum came in and completed his dry cell stint in segregation. Other inmates didn’t believe him when he told them he didn’t have any drugs on him this time so they decided to check for themselves. They accomplished this with a Dasani water bottle enema.

– The host of medical conditions you see during strip searches is alarming at first. The list contains testicles the size of mango’s, genital warts larger that their penis, AID lesions (always make me gag), and of course penis amputations always catch you off guard.

Dit is gênant

“My dad used to work as a CO and he would never tell me any stories about his time there until one day of constant badgering he told me the tale of the Easter surprise. Easter morning one of the inmates thought it would be a brilliant idea to get completely naked and shove a toilet scrubber all the way up his ass so the only part visible was his bristled ‘bunny tail’, he then proceeded to scream that he was the Easter bunny while trying to hop around and avoid the oncoming guards.”

Dit is nog niet alles want de bizarre verhalen stromen binnen. Als je denkt dat je het aankunt staan ze hier op je te wachten.